It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
