I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You are the jesus of drinking
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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