How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
