is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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