plz talk dirty to me
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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