feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
