why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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