We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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