I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
