Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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