is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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