But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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