I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
