We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
