I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
