Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
