If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
