yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
pray to the hookup gods
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize