Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
