This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
