Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
