He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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