theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
