He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
