When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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