Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You don't make any sense
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