so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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