that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
