just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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