How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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