I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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