he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
