dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
