Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
