Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
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her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
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Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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