I think I died a long time ago.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
