If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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