thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
