We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
