You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
