he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
