i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
