so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Who wears a wallet chain?!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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