they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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