I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize