your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Couch. On fire.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
