I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
