I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
NoShamevember. You game?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
