...so i touched it.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
