Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
