My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
