Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
