this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
