Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
operation harelip BJ is a go
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
