i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
