Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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