could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
