Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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