singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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