She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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