A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My penis needs a shock collar
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
