I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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