Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
