you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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