It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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