2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
