its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
