Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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