Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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