New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
