Don't you send me to vm
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize